My First Subway Ride – More than Just Directions

Piss and Weed, that was my first impression of the New York City Subway.

My first subway ride was on September 1, 2025 when I came here with my aunt’s family from Long Island to go to Coney Island. I didn't even realize when we had switched from the Long Island Rail Road (LIRR) to the underground subway station. I was following my family and holding my 3-year old cousin's tiny hand. The place smelled funky and I remember the orange letterhead, the Q train. At first, we accidentally hopped on a subway that went in the opposite direction instead of the one to Coney Island. Some of my uncle’s friends, who’ve lived in Long Island for over 10 years and rarely come into the city, were navigating, and we immediately got off at the next station to switch to the right train. That's when I handed my little cousin over to my aunt and pulled out my Google Maps to see if I could navigate.

I like knowing things. I like taking charge and I like being in control of my surroundings. Not to say that I didn't trust the older adults doing their job, it's just always been my job back home with my friends, to navigate and get us to the right places. But here I didn't know what I was navigating. I saw a bunch of trains, locations and times in Google Maps but it didn’t click. I’ve spent my whole life navigating narrow alleys in Nepal, weaving through traffic, pedestrians, vendors, and parked cars at the same time while on a scooter, so I expected I’d be able to figure this out too. But I couldn’t fully make sense of the system, so I gave up and just followed the crowd.

My aunt looked lost too, her hands full as my cousin tried to run around the platform. I asked her, “Have you been to New York City from Long Island before using the subway?”

She had moved to Long Island in 2021, almost five years ago. When she moved here, she learned how to drive and started using her car to go everywhere. I knew she drove to work and everywhere else, but I wondered if she ever still used the subway to come into the city.

She reminisced about her time in London in her thirties and said, “I used to be so good at it. I took myself out often, met friends in the city, navigated the trains, and explored new places on my own. But now I mostly just follow other people and make sure your cousin doesn’t run away.”

After a pause, she added, “Sometimes I feel like people assume I’m not smart enough because I’m just following them now. But outside of looking after your cousin, I just don’t have the energy to care.”

That day, I did not navigate the subway myself. I followed everyone else through the station and onto the train. But when I moved to New York City a week later, I started exploring and learning my way around on my own. Looking back, I do not think my aunt had become less independent or less capable. Her life had simply changed because she had someone else to think about before herself. I was still in my 20s, with only myself to look after, and I realized I wanted to use that freedom.

Learning the subway became more than just directions. It became my way of exploring the city, making choices on my own, and proving to myself that I could move through the world independently. At the same time, I started to see how the subway is not only about independence, but also about access and ease. It can feel simple when you have time, energy, and no one depending on you. But it can feel much harder when you are caring for someone else and carrying that responsibility with you.